How was I going to cope with this one? I was a mess just thinking about it....He would be so far away from me, his family.
I would have to learn to let go, I could not be there to make sure he was eating right, doing all his assignments, hanging out with the right kids, getting to classes and practice on time. Who would take care of him when he got sick??? What if he got in trouble or hurt or homesick??? The worst case scenario check list played out like a bad movie in my mind , this particular movie had no buttered popcorn, junior mints, or Icees, just a bad plot that I could not walk out of.
I seriously had to talk myself off the ledge!! How is it that I would be an empty nester? They were seriously babies like a week ago!!
As the time came closer for Him to leave, I knew God was giving me the ability to stay strong, the last thing I would ever want is for Kris to feel like he made the wrong choice because I was so sad. I found bible verses that showed me that this was God's will for Kris and that HE would take care of him when I could not. They were daily doses of positive affirmation that things would be OK. He loves Kris more than I could even imagine and He knew the college Kris would choose even before Kris did. I was reminded that God is their Father first and that He only loans us our kids for a short while, but yes they are indeed His.
Jeremiah 18:6 says, As the clay is in the potter's hand, so are my children in the hands of the Lord.
How comforting is that? God would be
molding him and shaping him into the man he would become, I imagined God's wonderful hands, strong, steady, secure, safe... lifting up my son...holding him, protecting him.
God's got this!!!!! Nothing is to hard for Him!! In the heavenly realms, this was a piece of cake for God, after all He could part the Red Sea and raise people from the dead, an 18 year old college kid.... a cinch!!!
God's tougher job though was dealing with me!!!!!
I needed to just let God be God! The Bible says to cast ALL our cares and burdens on to Him, and that there is no problem to big or to small for God to handle. Me worrying is me not trusting God!! This would be a huge faith stretcher for me for sure. Worrying about things I have no power to change is just" stealing joy!"
One of my favorite Bible verses is
Isaiah 41:10, "Do not be afraid, for I am with you, do not be discouraged, I am your God, I will help you and strengthen you and raise you up in my righteous right hand"!
What an amazing promise!!!
Those same hands that are taking care of my college boys will be helping and strengthening me too!!
The Bible also reminds us to stay in the present and to not worry about tomorrow today. We never know what is around the corner but God does, He is already behind the scenes taking care of everything so we don't have to. God's timing is perfect, our steps are ordered. He makes no mistakes.
I am so greatful and thank the Lord each morning for the many wonderful blessings in my life, the blessings God has given to me, the blessings God takes care of and watches over for me and for the peace and joy in knowing," yes!! God's got this"!!!!!!
Kris is enjoying college in Philadelphia. He is captain of his golf team, playing tons of golf, getting great grades, and being quietly molded into the great man God has created him to be!!!
As for me, I am learning to let my kids fly, trusting that they are covered in God's love and protection. Keeping my mind focused on God and His truths helps me to keep the mom worries at bay. I miss my boys very much but I am resting in God's peace, God's grace, which by definition is the Holy Spirit helping us to make the tough things easier, and I am learning how to cook a lot less food for dinner!!
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